How to be vulnerable online

7 guidelines for: "To post or not to post?"

Hey Greenblasters!!

I promised this week’s Greenblast would be more interesting & valuable, and I would rather die than break a promise to you guys (not really, but you get it).

Today, we’re answering the question:

How can you be more vulnerable online?

In the:

  • stories you tell

  • the life and work updates you share

  • and the parts of your personality you show to the world?

But before the HOW, as Simon Sinek would tell us: we need to start with WHY.

So WHY be vulnerable online? Or at all?

Vulnerable is a funny word.

It’s used both as a positive (“Thanks for being vulnerable with me”) and as a negative (“Canada is currently vulnerable to cyber-attacks.”)

The reason we use vulnerable as a positive in communication contexts is fascinating.

Charles Duhigg, author of Supercommunicators, said on my favourite podcast Armchair Expert:

“Vulnerability is the loudest thing someone can do.”

He explains that in an evolutionary sense, another person being vulnerable either means you’re supposed to attack them, or protect them from attack.

stop-motion animation GIF by Mochimochiland

The savagery of Paleolithic humans

So when someone shares something vulnerable, he says:

“We cannot help but listen to them.”

And this is a huge reason WHY we should be vulnerable when we’re communicating online, and telling the world our story:

It cuts through the noise and helps us stand out.

And you’re an entrepreneur, coach, consultant, or creative, you need to stand out online to have any hope of growing and sustaining your business.

PBP. (Point blank period).

There’s also another better reason to be vulnerable, but I’ll talk about that later.

On to:

HOW to be vulnerable

Vulnerability, obviously, comes with some dangers:

  • you can be mocked for things you share

  • people can twist your words around

  • certain information might damage your rep

And a whole host of things that sound like reasons NOT to be vulnerable online.

Season 3 Nbc GIF by The Office

Me panicking about a vunerable post I just made

But really, it’s about sharing wisely, and not randomly.

Here’s a list of 7 guidelines I follow, which help me answer the question:

To post or not to post?

  1. Don’t post about something you haven’t emotionally processed at least a little bit (if in doubt, wait a day)

  2. Don’t share other people’s vulnerabilities without asking

  3. Don’t rant, especially about how much other people suck (That’s not vulnerability, that’s rage).

  4. Don’t show pics of your kid’s face (that’s my preference, you do you though)

  5. Don’t say Trigger Warning (also my preference, YDYT), but DO think about how people who are dealing with this issue might read your words

  6. DO try to push your own boundaries slightly, and get out of your “vulnerability comfort zone.” (Sometimes the thing you’re scared to post is the thing that makes your audience truly connect with you. Here was mine).

And finally:

  1. Don’t share something just for “vulnerability’s sake.” You should always have a reason for sharing, like helping people feel less alone.

Which brings us to the DEEPER WHY of being vulnerable online:

It helps people feel less alone. Simple. But really important.

Loneliness is a global epidemic that is getting worse. People feel more disconnected than ever, and (unfortunately) many turn to social media for connection.

Bathroom Scrolling GIF by The Viral Fever

But one of the good things about social media is you can find people’s stories, that you never would’ve heard otherwise.

I remember feeling moved, touched, slightly healed even, and just less alone listening to Patton Oswalt on Steven Colbert, or Nora McInerney’s TED Talk.

I still think about these people who I’ve never met, and I love them for what they gave me by sharing so vulnerably.

So, if you don’t wanna be vulnerable to stand out online and grow your business:

Do it to help the people who might be struggling with what you’ve (semi) dealt with.

That’s part of what being a Speaking Hero means to me.

That’s it for this week!

Please reply HUMAN if you liked this one, and forward to a friend if you loved it!

Greenblast… out 🚀

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