Hey Greenblasters!

If you spend any time on LinkedIn, you’ve probably seen posts like this one from Peter Whent last week:

NOW:

It’s fun, and I mean FUN, to roast shitty sales emails on LinkedIn.

But I wanna use this as a learning opportunity, because I constantly advocate for personal storytelling in business, because it reminds us that we’re human.

And a lot of people ask me some version of:

“Have you ever seen examples of personal storytelling that you DON’T like?”

Of course the answer is YES. This plane crash email is a perfect example.

Peter kindly sent me the full email and gave me his blessing to write this (learn more about him here).

I’ll spare you the whole thing, but we’ll look at parts of it to see why it’s such a cynical use of personal storytelling, why it fell so flat and got roasted so mercilessly on LinkedIn, and the 4 mistakes to AVOID to make your storytelling less douchey.

Ready? Here are:

4 Reasons Why This Story Sucks:

Sucky Reason 1: It wasn’t EARNED

A cold email is like a strange knock at the door:

It COULD be something nice, but probably isn’t, and we’re suspicious until we have reason to be otherwise.

This guy did not EARN Peter’s attention with the headline:

“⚫️ That time I almost died in a plane crash…”

He was trying to HIJACK it.

To be vulnerable with people, you should have EARNED their attention first:

• they’re sitting in your audience to hear you speak

• they’ve subscribed to your newsletter

• they’ve followed you on LinkedIn (or have the option to scroll away if not)

• or they’ve agreed to meet with you on Zoom

There should at least be SOME indication of consenting to listen, of which a cold email has none.

Sucky Reason 2: It wasn’t VULNERABLE

Charles Duhigg said on Armchair Expert (my fave podcast for vulnerable storytelling btw) something to the effect of:

“Vulnerability is so attention-grabbing, because evolutionarily speaking, it’s dangerous. That’s why we all stop and listen when someone is vulnerable.”

This “near-fatal” plane crash story is not vulnerable; it’s not dangerous; if anything, it’s COOL.

The email does say he couldn’t fly for a while cause he was afraid, but that takes 2 lines before he gets into the cool part:

“It freaked me out so bad I didn't fly again for over a decade. I missed countless opportunities - speaking events, masterminds - all because of my fear of flying.

Then one day, I decided to take flying lessons to face my fear head-on. Once I truly understood how planes worked, what turbulence really was, and all that jazz... my fear of flying disappeared.”

How vulnerable is that, really? He had a cool “near-death” experience, he was afraid for a while, then he overcame it with his intelligence, resilience, and bravery. Plus, he’s a pilot now, ladies.

Vulnerability = DANGER. There has to be some kind of potential cost to sharing.

Like sharing something that could and probably will make some people look at you differently, but will resonate with the right people. That’s vulnerable.

Next:

Sucky Reason 3: It wasn’t REAL

When you read: “I almost died in a plane crash…” what do you think happened?

Me, I think:

1. Plane crash happened

2. Person got badly injured

3. Person survived

The real story - once we open the email - is:

“We were flying a tiny prop plane from Miami to Tampa after a family cruise. The pilot passed out during landing, and the copilot had to take over at the last second. 

Our wing hit the ground, we slammed hard on the runway, and nearly skidded right off.”

Scary? I bet.

“Almost died in a plane crash?” Give me a fucking break. There was no crash, or injury.

This is the definition of clickbait:

Making a “promise” in a hook, title, or email subject line that is NOT HONOURED once the reader dives into it.

That’s why Peter’s LinkedIn post about this went semi-viral: people HATE clickbait.

So, the lesson here is:

If you DO use an attention-grabbing “hook” to tell your story:

Make sure the hook is real and true, and the story pays off the promise.

Sucky reason 4: It wasn’t free.

This one is tricky.

We’re all out here selling something.

(At least, most of the people who read this Greenblast are, myself included) (we’re coaches, consultants, entrepreneurs, artists, etc)

So, to claim that I’m out here telling my story with NO expectation of making any money would be a wild lie.

HOWEVER, let me make this case:

The story ITSELF should be free.

That doesn’t mean you don’t have something to sell; that doesn’t even mean you don’t offer something at the END of your story, although I’ve learned to be careful with this…

It means you tell your story with no expectation OTHER THAN:

“I hope this helps you get to know ME a little better, and in turn, makes you feel a little more connected to yourself and to the human race.”

That’s the real magic of storytelling. It’s why we devour fiction, film, and even social media content:

We’re looking to feel connected to other people.

This cold email “story”, however, is obviously a cynical pitch. This is the end of it:

This sucks all the more because it takes something that should be freely given - a personal story - and attaches a string to it:

In summation: boooooo 👎

To recap:

A personal story, told in a business context, should have 4 things. Think of the acronym FEVR (just thought of that now!):

1. Free - nothing is expected other than emotional impact (even if you are selling something eventually)

2. Earned - they gave SOME kind of consent to listen to you

3. Vulnerable - it actually COST you to share

4. Real - there’s no exaggeration or lie

That’s it for this week!

I’m not gonna try to sell you anything this week, because I don’t want to be a filthy hypocrite. Next week, watch out. (just kidding).

Greenblast… OUT 🚀