Hey Greenblasters!!!

I missed you. The reason I haven’t written in a minute:

I’m trying this new thing where I only write a Greenblast when I feel like I have something to say, so I’m not spamming your inbox weekly for no reason other than my own arbitrary deadline.

But this week, I have DO something to say.

To all those who share their story for a living:

Share your scars, not your wounds.

I can’t seem to find who said this first.

I first remember hearing it from David Hutchens, a great storytelling coach on LinkedIn.

Some people attribute it to Nadia Bolz-Weber. (It’s important to credit people properly, but I can’t seem to find out for sure.)

Regardless, this quote is an absolute banger.

What I love so much about this quote is it provides an INSTANT GUIDELINE to a question I get all the time:

“What’s too much to share onstage / online?”

And the reality is: no one can answer that but you.

There’s a lot of advice to “be vulnerable” for speakers, writers & creators:

• talking about losses as well as wins

• sharing personal difficulties

• acknowledging painful parts of your past (say that fast 3x)

• and admitting to fears, doubts, and shame

The point of this is to create a true connection with your audience, like any good artist does. If people get a glimpse into your life, the real, unfiltered messiness of the shitty circumstances and embarrassing mistakes, then you become almost like a friend.

This phenomenon is powerful (it’s called a parasocial relationship. I talk about it a lot).

BUT:

The audience can’t handle an open wound.

When you see this, what do you think?

But when you see this:

Because of our mirror neurons, humans have a visceral reaction to seeing something that looks painful in others.

And the same thing is true of hearing stories, which also activates our mirror neurons according to The Storytelling Animal by Jonathan Gottschall.

The audience can’t bear to hear stories which seem to be too painful.

Not because they don’t care, but because they care TOO much.

So that means, when deciding whether or not to share a vulnerable story from your past (or even present), ask yourself:

• have I processed this?

• have I shared it in private?

• have I written about it?

• have I discussed it in therapy?

• has enough time passed since?

• can I talk about it without getting too emotional?

If the answer is YES to most or all of these, then:

I’m a huge fan of being vulnerable, and even pushing yourself a bit.

But if the answer is no to most or all of those above questions, then think about waiting to share that particular part of your life with an audience until the wounds have healed, and become badass scars.

THAT’S IT for this week!

If you’re a coach or entrepreneur who wants start sharing your story onstage and getting paid to do it, then book a call with me here or you can join my community to get started.

For the rest of you…

Greenblast… OUT 🚀