Greenblasters. Hello.

Sorry for the muted tone, I’m feelin’ sad today.

I’ll tell you about it, but first:

I wanna try a different format for the Greenblast today.

I’m just gonna tell you what I’m feeling sad about, and then I’m gonna try and glean a lesson about it for you, called:

How to talk about sad things in public.

Reason I’m sad

Today’s my little brother Luke’s birthday.

If you don’t know, he died 19 years ago, when he was 15 and I was 17.

So:

Why tell you about this?

Why am I making YOU sad today, when you may have been having a nice coffee, reading this goofy newsletter, hoping for a lesson and/or a laugh, and now you feel slightly depressed, pitying, or just uncomfortable?

Here’s why:

I started this newsletter to create a different kind of connection with my “audience.” I wanted, even more than on my LinkedIn or YouTube, to be honest and vulnerable, because I believe that’s what creates true connection.

I don’t think this approach will get me millions of subscribers.

But I don’t want that.

I want to have a small but mighty community of people who believe in the power of storytelling and honest communication to better their lives.

People who feel like they know me, even if we’ve never met.

And to know me, on any level below the surface, is to know:

I had a brother named Luke.

He died.

And both of these facts make up a huge part of who I am.

So that’s the reason I’m sad today. I hope if you’re missing someone, you feel less alone, and know that lots of other people feel this too.

And I hope you know me a bit more (if this is news to you).

The lesson:

We have a TERRIBLE time talking about grief and sadness in our culture.

Especially without some kind of lesson or happy ending after talking about it.

I.E.:

Talk show guest: “I had a really abusive childhood home, but now I’m super successful and happy.”

Talk show audience: WOOOO! 👏👏👏

Talk show host: Good for you. Now, a word from our sponsor: Wendy’s Baconator.

Even I have this problem. I’m doing it now.

I couldn’t just SHARE with you that I’m sad today, and why.

I had to hit you with some sort of public speaking lesson, because I’m worried that if I just told you why I’m sad, I’m burdening you.

Because we are all so afraid of negative emotions, especially ones with no quick fixes.

And while that may be sad, it’s also true, and worth respecting.

So the best way to talk about sad things, especially in public with strangers, and work colleagues, in my opinion is:

Share vulnerably, but show that you’re okay.

In my experience, many people do ONE but forget the OTHER.

Either they:

a) Never talk about any sad things in public, or brush over them

OR

b) Trauma dump onstage, online or in meetings, with no indication to their audience that they’re emotionally stable enough to engage with.

Both of these are mistakes, but the much more common one is a):

Never sharing anything difficult, or brushing it under the rug.

Especially at work.

So, unless you’re one of the few people who trauma dumps too much, I’d advise you:

Tell people what’s going on with you. Tell them if you’re sad, and why.

And finish it with: “I’m ok, and I don’t mind talking about it.”

OR:

“I’m ok, and I’d rather not talk about it, just wanted you to know what’s going on with me.”

I guarantee you’ll create deeper connections with people, unless of course you don’t want to, in which case this might not be the newsletter for you lol.

Start small, start with people you trust, and see how it feels.

And just so you know:

I’M fine. And I DON’T mind talking about it :)

So if you’re feeling anything, you can always reply to my emails, and let me know what’s up with you.

I try to respond to every single one.

That’s it for today, and thanks for reading. ❤️

Greenblast, out 🚀